Imitation vs. Authentic

Have you ever walked into a room full of people and still felt completely alone. Or have you been surrounded by friends and family that love you and yet still long  for something more. A relationship filled with longing and intimacy, where love is a driving force and your day isn't complete until that relationship is found. For the last couple of months I have understood this feeling, lived it and tried to fill the desires of my heart for relationship with a cheap imitation.
Have you ever baked with cheap imitation vanilla? I have. Its watered down and gives off the idea that it is....well.... imitation, like it is titled. One day I found actual vanilla in the cupboard, when poured out I could smell the rich yet comforting scent of vanilla.....this was the real stuff. These last couple of months I have been using "imitation vanilla" relationships in order to fulfill that longing in my heart.
After examining my heart, breaking certain ties and giving many issues over to God, I felt free! As my sister Annie out it, "Its like God is screaming I love you". I'm done stiff arming God and not letting him in and not letting myself be satisfied with his love. Then this verse hit me like a pile of bricks....more like a pile of elephants, "For the Lord longs to be gracious to you. And therefore he waits on high to have compassion on you. For the Lord is a God of justice: how blessed are all those who long for him." Isaiah 30:18 Once I heard this verse, all I heard from God is that he longs to be with me. WITH ME!!!!! The God of the universe longs and desires to be with me, he loves me!!! Nothing  I can do will change that. This is the real stuff, the real vanilla, the real relationship and only one that can satisfy the yearning of my heart. With all my troubles, mistakes and everything I am, God wants it all. When I realized this, this feeling washed over me, one that I could hardly describe. A feeling of being romanced, of being wanted, of love pouring on and over and all around me. How glorious is the Lord on high! I feel like the night sky, the beauty of the ocean, the flowers on the side of the road are all ways of God romancing me, saying, "I put that there so that you might enjoy them, I hope you liked the flowers and the stars because I thought of you when I arranged them."
John Piper said that "God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in him." God is the only one that could fill my heart with love and joy and make things right. Now when the enemy tries to bring something or someone else into my heart, I say no! my heart is only for the Lord and without him, I am empty, why would I want to give up this beautiful relationship with my God and King. He is the one who made my heart, died for it, he longs for it so I say, "Lord here is my heart".

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